Chrystalline (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
chrystalline) wrote2006-06-17 12:03 am
chrystalline) wrote2006-06-17 12:03 am
Entry tags:
Why the Change
I've been asked many times why I changed my name, and I usually offer one of the simple reasons, like the fact that I want to be famous someday and my family - don't. At Arian's wedding last month, though, for the first time I encountered someone who didn't want to leave it at the surface level, and since I couldn't get that out of my head, I wrote up an explanation, especially since Leran had asked me for one (with the caveat that he wasn't pushing) back in December and I hadn't sent one;) So, with minor editing for names, here's what I sent him:
I hadn't said anything about working on changing my name because up until last fall, I was fine with just using it as a screenname. Once I decided to change it, that happened fairly quickly. It's really easy for an adult with no criminal record to change her name - three sheets of paper, a notary stamp, and $31, here in Madison County.
At the rehearsal dinner, the assistant pastor (who for some reason vaguely reminds me of Johnny Depp, so I'll call him JD) at Arian's church made an impression by addressing me by my new name, despite the fact that I was going by the old name just to make things easier for everybody. He was going around the table and making sure he had the bridesmaids' names right (we'd made things easier by sitting in a row. Arian and Enor were going to end up calling me by the old name *anyway* just through force of habit, so I figured it was easier just to let everyone use it - they'd mostly met me by the old name when I visited Arian last year anyhow;) Chinira was sitting next to him, vigorously indicating that she had told him (which was fine, because I'm certain I practically glowed when he said "Chrystalline") I love Chinira, but I can't help wondering if she was trying to matchmake again - it was her constant suggestions that got Arian to consider her groom in the first place, after all.
At any rate, the rehearsal dinner was fun. JD got Enor and Nia (the Maid of Honor) to start in on personality types and synaethesia, which got my attention because I enjoy that, too, and do you know, I only just realized tonight that Arian's brother was not at our table. I mean, I knew that, but it didn't really register until now - I laughed so hard that night I had a headache, and I probably turned beet red a dozen times. Most of the other groomsmen were at our table, and all of us bridesmaids were there, including the groom's sister and at least one of his brothers, so it wasn't just a family-at-the-other-table thing. I wonder why he didn't join us; maybe there wasn't room by the time he came in...
I don't remember whether he was trying to change a subject or what, but at some point JD asked me why I changed my name, and, befitting the light-hearted atmosphere, I said that it was because I'm a sparkly person and I wanted my name to reflect that. That got groans (and I wasn't even being deliberately punny), but I laughed, and conversation seemed about to continue on, when he asked again, without even changing the wording of the question. I blinked, and laughed in disbelief, which apparently was enough because then someone managed to get the conversation going onto something else again.
It's not that I didn't want to answer the question, it's that I've thought about this for so long that a complete answer will take forever! I didn't want to monopolize the conversation with my whole lecture on how and why I changed my name to Chrystalline. The answer I gave him is actually one of my many reasons for going ahead with the name change, no matter how silly it sounded to him.
To be honest, I have never liked my original name. My old first name is depressingly common (it was the Number One Most Popular Name for Girls for 15 years running, and in the top ten for another five), my middle name was a boy's name, and there was no beauty in the blunt and rather boring last name. Have you ever Googled your name? My original first and last name, no quotes, got more that 500,000 hits when I tried it. Including the middle initial and putting it in quotes got more than 218,000 hits. Until fairly recently, Chrystalline, no quotes, would find me and a bunch of misspelled references to objects of a crystal nature. I wanted to be unique, beautiful, elegant, and famous.
All through elementary, middle school, junior high and high school, I considered what I would prefer. In fourth grade I thought Mary or Maria would be prettier, though by seventh grade I was debating the value of Amber (I have a thing about gemstones), Crystal (have you seen 24% lead crystal? It's gorgeous!), and Aurora (Sleeping Beauty is a favorite of mine). I was very partial to Crystal, but Crystal Aurora didn't really work, and I was still thinking of Aurora Amber as an alternate pen name, so I translated it to Crystal Dawn. Then I noticed that Crystal Dawn had the same relationship of initials as my original name, and thought it would be interesting to see what had the same relationship for the last initial, too. I counted letters and came up with L, which I thought was fabulous, because the capital cursive L has always been my favorite - it swoops so beautifully. To tell you the truth, I don't remember how I decided on Lauryl, except that it started as Laurel and I had to stick a Y in it because I like the letter Y (it's pretty) and because I didn't want to be mistaken for "and Hardy." I know I had a reason for choosing Laurel, but I just can't think of it right now.
By the time I graduated from high school, I'd decided on Crystal Dawn Lauryl, and created my AOL screenname CDLauryl. While I was at BJ, I had a roommate who knew a girl whose name was Crystal Dawn, and it just didn't sound nearly as nice when she said it, besides the fact that everyone was always laughing at Crystal Dawn, so I started thinking a little more. There was something less-than-perfect about the rhythm of it, too - Crystal Dawn Lauryl doesn't flow very well. Being a poet, along with everything else, I couldn't settle for the choppy sound it had. Crystal was another way-too-common name, anyway, but I liked the basic concept, so I thought perhaps Crystalline might be better. That still wasn't quite unique enough for me, though, and it still didn't look quite right, so I added the H and decided that looked perfect. The rhythm was better, too - Chrystalline Dawn is smoother. It's also the same syllable pattern as my original name. That was about the time I finished my bachelor's.
Post-grad, I continued using Chrystalline online, and became more and more comfortable with it. I was intending to use it as my stage name in pursuit of a film acting career, but things got tricky. In all my searching for information, I found a few people asking about using stage names, and the usual response was, "Why would you want to do that?" Not a particularly helpful answer, I'm sure you can imagine. I also had issues with Paypal, in that I really didn't want my original name out where anyone could see it, so I upgraded to Business level solely for the option of having Chrystalline Lauryl be the name people saw. I was thinking of trying to produce an indie feature, but again, having to sign the wrong name on the paperwork to be legal was an irritating thought. My mom suggested incorporation as a way to legally link Chrystalline Lauryl to me, but when I visited the lawyer she recommended, it became clear that I was still going to have to sign my original name on anything having to do with legal or monetary matters. At this point, in Oct 2005, I started giving serious thought to a name change. When I mentioned it to my dad, he freaked. I decided not to mention it again, but I kept thinking about it. In November, I went and got the forms. I took a week to think about it a little more, then decided, 'Yes, I've thought about this enough,' and went to get them filled out, notarized, and submitted. On December 9, 2005, the judge approved the paperwork and mailed me the court order.
So that's the story of how and why I decided to change my name.
Toldja it was long;)
I hadn't said anything about working on changing my name because up until last fall, I was fine with just using it as a screenname. Once I decided to change it, that happened fairly quickly. It's really easy for an adult with no criminal record to change her name - three sheets of paper, a notary stamp, and $31, here in Madison County.
At the rehearsal dinner, the assistant pastor (who for some reason vaguely reminds me of Johnny Depp, so I'll call him JD) at Arian's church made an impression by addressing me by my new name, despite the fact that I was going by the old name just to make things easier for everybody. He was going around the table and making sure he had the bridesmaids' names right (we'd made things easier by sitting in a row. Arian and Enor were going to end up calling me by the old name *anyway* just through force of habit, so I figured it was easier just to let everyone use it - they'd mostly met me by the old name when I visited Arian last year anyhow;) Chinira was sitting next to him, vigorously indicating that she had told him (which was fine, because I'm certain I practically glowed when he said "Chrystalline") I love Chinira, but I can't help wondering if she was trying to matchmake again - it was her constant suggestions that got Arian to consider her groom in the first place, after all.
At any rate, the rehearsal dinner was fun. JD got Enor and Nia (the Maid of Honor) to start in on personality types and synaethesia, which got my attention because I enjoy that, too, and do you know, I only just realized tonight that Arian's brother was not at our table. I mean, I knew that, but it didn't really register until now - I laughed so hard that night I had a headache, and I probably turned beet red a dozen times. Most of the other groomsmen were at our table, and all of us bridesmaids were there, including the groom's sister and at least one of his brothers, so it wasn't just a family-at-the-other-table thing. I wonder why he didn't join us; maybe there wasn't room by the time he came in...
I don't remember whether he was trying to change a subject or what, but at some point JD asked me why I changed my name, and, befitting the light-hearted atmosphere, I said that it was because I'm a sparkly person and I wanted my name to reflect that. That got groans (and I wasn't even being deliberately punny), but I laughed, and conversation seemed about to continue on, when he asked again, without even changing the wording of the question. I blinked, and laughed in disbelief, which apparently was enough because then someone managed to get the conversation going onto something else again.
It's not that I didn't want to answer the question, it's that I've thought about this for so long that a complete answer will take forever! I didn't want to monopolize the conversation with my whole lecture on how and why I changed my name to Chrystalline. The answer I gave him is actually one of my many reasons for going ahead with the name change, no matter how silly it sounded to him.
To be honest, I have never liked my original name. My old first name is depressingly common (it was the Number One Most Popular Name for Girls for 15 years running, and in the top ten for another five), my middle name was a boy's name, and there was no beauty in the blunt and rather boring last name. Have you ever Googled your name? My original first and last name, no quotes, got more that 500,000 hits when I tried it. Including the middle initial and putting it in quotes got more than 218,000 hits. Until fairly recently, Chrystalline, no quotes, would find me and a bunch of misspelled references to objects of a crystal nature. I wanted to be unique, beautiful, elegant, and famous.
All through elementary, middle school, junior high and high school, I considered what I would prefer. In fourth grade I thought Mary or Maria would be prettier, though by seventh grade I was debating the value of Amber (I have a thing about gemstones), Crystal (have you seen 24% lead crystal? It's gorgeous!), and Aurora (Sleeping Beauty is a favorite of mine). I was very partial to Crystal, but Crystal Aurora didn't really work, and I was still thinking of Aurora Amber as an alternate pen name, so I translated it to Crystal Dawn. Then I noticed that Crystal Dawn had the same relationship of initials as my original name, and thought it would be interesting to see what had the same relationship for the last initial, too. I counted letters and came up with L, which I thought was fabulous, because the capital cursive L has always been my favorite - it swoops so beautifully. To tell you the truth, I don't remember how I decided on Lauryl, except that it started as Laurel and I had to stick a Y in it because I like the letter Y (it's pretty) and because I didn't want to be mistaken for "and Hardy." I know I had a reason for choosing Laurel, but I just can't think of it right now.
By the time I graduated from high school, I'd decided on Crystal Dawn Lauryl, and created my AOL screenname CDLauryl. While I was at BJ, I had a roommate who knew a girl whose name was Crystal Dawn, and it just didn't sound nearly as nice when she said it, besides the fact that everyone was always laughing at Crystal Dawn, so I started thinking a little more. There was something less-than-perfect about the rhythm of it, too - Crystal Dawn Lauryl doesn't flow very well. Being a poet, along with everything else, I couldn't settle for the choppy sound it had. Crystal was another way-too-common name, anyway, but I liked the basic concept, so I thought perhaps Crystalline might be better. That still wasn't quite unique enough for me, though, and it still didn't look quite right, so I added the H and decided that looked perfect. The rhythm was better, too - Chrystalline Dawn is smoother. It's also the same syllable pattern as my original name. That was about the time I finished my bachelor's.
Post-grad, I continued using Chrystalline online, and became more and more comfortable with it. I was intending to use it as my stage name in pursuit of a film acting career, but things got tricky. In all my searching for information, I found a few people asking about using stage names, and the usual response was, "Why would you want to do that?" Not a particularly helpful answer, I'm sure you can imagine. I also had issues with Paypal, in that I really didn't want my original name out where anyone could see it, so I upgraded to Business level solely for the option of having Chrystalline Lauryl be the name people saw. I was thinking of trying to produce an indie feature, but again, having to sign the wrong name on the paperwork to be legal was an irritating thought. My mom suggested incorporation as a way to legally link Chrystalline Lauryl to me, but when I visited the lawyer she recommended, it became clear that I was still going to have to sign my original name on anything having to do with legal or monetary matters. At this point, in Oct 2005, I started giving serious thought to a name change. When I mentioned it to my dad, he freaked. I decided not to mention it again, but I kept thinking about it. In November, I went and got the forms. I took a week to think about it a little more, then decided, 'Yes, I've thought about this enough,' and went to get them filled out, notarized, and submitted. On December 9, 2005, the judge approved the paperwork and mailed me the court order.
So that's the story of how and why I decided to change my name.
Toldja it was long;)
no subject
I like that - Stormlight is cool! Of course, if you already like your name, there's no reason not to use it. Heh - I doubt I'll find personalized objects with my new name spelled right, but that's okay. I have no problem with personalizing my own stuff;)
Dad freaked so much over the idea that I didn't tell him, though he later found out (check the other posts with this tag - there's more on the subject). Mom was okay with it; she's always been good about recognizing that I'm an individual and I need space to do things my way. This is turning into a whole 'nother post, so I'm going to stop here and post the rest as a new entry;)
BTW - love your doll icon. Something like a cross between Dark Crystal and anime...those are gorgeous!
no subject