Writing Junk

[chrystalline]

One day in Film Directing class, Dr. Stenholm was lecturing as usual when she began, “If something is worth doing…”

With a mental eyeroll and a nod, I finished it in my head: “…it’s worth doing right.”

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Originally published at Chrystalline. You can comment here or there.

Comments

[chrystalline.livejournal.com]

I like your Thinky Jack icon:)

You sound a lot like me, here; I like a lot of different things, and I don't necessarily know what is the common theme. Well, that's not entirely accurate. One common theme is that I like to perform for praise; I don't think I ever learned how to value myself, so if I don't have others praising me for something, I feel worthless. I've been working on that, and I've come a long way, but I still haven't figured out how to be happy without the praise of others. Another is that I like things that are full of grace and beauty and passion. Music, dance, art, skating...even choreographed fights can be beautiful.

There is pleasure in doing something well and there is skill in repetition, so there is truth to what they say, but as usual it's been reduced to such a trite catchphrase that the subtleties of cause-and-effect are blurred.

I have no idea what gift(s) God may have given me that He hadn't given me at birth, but I have a lot of talents - more than I have time to really develop fully - and I don't seem to be able to pick and choose, so I find myself stalled in the middle, going nowhere, because to make progress, I have to walk away from some of them in order to pursue another. With focused effort, I could probably become quite good at drawing, painting, computer programming, playing an instrument, dancing, fighting, and more. I already have skill in writing, singing, photography, and general computer imagery. I just don't want to have to leave anything behind; I want to do it all.

The thing about the writing - I've never been able to stop. There is almost always a scene from a story playing in my head, whether I'm trying to go to sleep or getting ready for work or standing in line or driving somewhere or...you get the idea. It's always in novel form, because that's most of what I've read over the years. My mental voice takes the form of the narrator, whether it's action or dialogue or an internal view of a character. I remember having one of the girls from church over to play with Barbies when I was younger, and she laughed at me because I appended "he said" or "she said" to every line from every doll instead of just role-playing it. When you get right down to it, I live for fiction, because it's more interesting and predictable and understandable to me than real life, but the idea of sharing my original work publicly is as scary as the first time I had to solo in front of the whole church. I got used to it eventually, and even learned to enjoy it, but it's really scary in the beginning.

Wow, really ran away with me there, didn't it? :: wry grin :: Anyway, I'm going to try to type up a few of those older pieces by the end of the week (if the rest of the week is as busy as today, it's going to be Saturday before I can get anywhere, whew!). Hopefully I'll have something not-too-terrible ready to post next weekend.

Just some additional thoughts...

[majorsamfan.livejournal.com]

You know, before putting it "out there", you might consider a few trusted friends. I'd be happy to look something over. Also, consider a writers group where you can share your stuff - either online or in person. I go to one once a month.

I also belong to a couple of online groups. dragonsinger just formed an eljay community called storiesnstuff. It's a closed group (because she wants to keep it small), but after you've sent me a few pieces to read, I could vouch for you, if you're interested. I haven't submitted anything yet but I do plan to do so.

Another community is creativewriter, to which I also belong. It's a much bigger group with a lot of poets. I'm sure there are others out there. I know there are Yahoo lists, but again...that's going before strangers.

Re: Just some additional thoughts...

[mellymell.livejournal.com]

You might check at Flying Monkey Arts Center in Huntsville. I know a girl who was doing a monthly poetry reading there and people would read short stories sometimes, too. I just don't know if it's still going on. If not that, they might have other opportunities or groups that meet there.

Re: Just some additional thoughts...

[chrystalline.livejournal.com]

I've never been there; I don't know if I could read my writing in front of people I only just met, though. I think I prefer over email/internet, because that gives a shield - if people laugh, you don't have to know about it, unless they're too tactless to find a kind way to tell you what they think.

When I'm on the other side of the equation, reading someone else's work and being asked for an opinion, I'm always terrified of offending people with my expression or some minor tone of voice. :(

Re: Just some additional thoughts...

[chrystalline.livejournal.com]

Really? I'm ridiculously insecure about my fiction writing, so I definitely prefer the idea of running it past someone I know before posting it for all to see (especially if it's someone who understands the perfectionistic procrastination and is willing to prod a little to make sure I get it out instead of hiding forever because it isn't perfect yet;)

Those groups sound interesting, too; I'll have to check those out.